Bi And Large

Surprise! I have a job! And, I've already been there a whole day already!

When I first started interviewing, I spoke to a place down the street from me that using laser therapy to treat peripheral neuropathies (the unending 'pins and needles' sensation) in people with surprising success. It's one of like 5 clinics in the nation to do so and it's one of the very best. I didn't get the job, but when that happened, I got a very nice phone call from the office manager just calling to tell me that it was a very tough decision and that I would have been her first choice, which was sweet. So fast forward to last night, and at 6pm as I was getting out of the shower the phone rings and it is said office manager again. She was like that other person we hired to do this? Yeahhhhh not so much.... can you be here tomorrow? And train really heavily then and Friday? Because I really need you running the laser by Monday.

Holy Shit.

So, that was that. And, I have a job! And, I went to work today!

And OMG I am so fucking tired, my hair is tired. I think things will go great, I'm just so. tired!

I signed paperwork today and did a lot of training and I am, officially, now a laser therapist using LLLT to treat peripheral neuropathy. I have my scrubs (I need more, I'm waiting on some from online, the ones I bought today don't fit just right) and I have my OWN OFFICE - my own exam room, my own table, my own laser and my own cryo machine. LOVE it. This job is roughly the equivalent of what a PA is to an MD, I am to a DCM. Meaning I interview patients, get them settled in the exam room, find out what their needs are, and actually do all the treatment; but the doctor gives the orders for everything. He gets to be the brains, I get to be the hands. Twice today he did slight chiropractic adjustments while we (I was shadowing another therapist) did the light therapy, although his clinic does hardly any "chiro" work and does 99% neuropathy.

What's amazing about it? It actually works. Every patient I saw today had amazing stories and just looking through their charts, their parathesia and pain had improved dramatically. And neuropathy is one of those things that for so long, doctors have just said I am sorry, there is nothing we can do, here's some morphine. This not only works, it has no side effects. I suspected at first it might be an alternative medicine scam, but I did a bunch of research last night and there's pretty solid evidence that this does help more than placebo. It encourages cell metabolism and growth, improves circulation, and actually increases ATP production within the cells. This has all been shown in good, double blind studies in people, animals, and even in petri dishes! So there is scientifically something to it.

The good parts: I love the other staff, we get along great. The pay is good. The commute is FANTASTIC, I am literally down the street from my house. I feel confident that I will be able to do this job well. I enjoy the building and my room and the front desk and everything else. The hours are just a little long (full time+, I was hoping for about 20/week, but whatever, we need the $$$) but I can handle it I think. They are so backlogged that it is a constant stream of patients and chatting with them makes it go by faster. I like the patients I have met so far and I have already seen some really fascinating cases, so the work is really interesting.

The hard parts: I miss my home. I miss my babies. I dropped Iris off this morning, she wasn't even staying all day, Pete was picking her up early. She was bawling as usual because she didn't want me to go and all of a sudden, I just started bawling. Yeah. Looking like a fucking idiot there in the middle of preschool. I HATE LEAVING HER. I miss the way it feels to snuggle her, I miss the way she smells, I miss the sound of her voice and the way her hair curls. Every part of me aches missing her. And Amy too, although it is slightly easier since I am used to her being in school. I miss getting her off the bus, and hearing about her day. I miss my home, and clearing it up, and sitting in the living room with the windows open and a cup of tea, or folding laundry while everyone is napping. I even miss the slobbery dog. This is a GREAT job and I'm thrilled with it but you know what? I already had a great job. And I'm so, so deeply sad that I got fired from that gig, because I loved it more than anything.

Anyway I am conflicted but if this is the way it has to be, I think this is the best possible scenario. My boss and coworkers are really nice. The patients are nice. The work is fun and interesting. I get to wear scrubs. And I get paid so maybe we won't lose our house because we can't pay our bills. It's a good thing, right?

I can't believe I am going to get up in the morning and do this all again!