Bi And Large

So, I have a lot of things to update on. I know this. Suffice to say, I am alright. It has been an intersting week or two, and I have had a LOT going on mentally and emotionally and physically and all around me. But I am OK. I am still here, and I am alive and kicking. I will fill in the details later on if you like, but for now I feel more up to relating the story of my experience at the grocery store last night.

 

SO.

 

In case you haven't noticed yet, I am fat. And also, in case you haven't noticed, I eat pretty damn healthy. I have an insulin disorder, and a thyroid disorder, and a general endocrine clusterfuck that gets me studied by people at Berkeley and Stanford and the UofM out here to figure me out, and the upshot is I am ver healthy and eat good healthy foods and I'm still fat. Cest la vie. I'm over it. Now, I have a coworker named Jen, and she and I get along very well and have become good friends. She is vegan, I am not; but we share a love of pure unadulterated food. Organics, whole foods, raw foods. We usually eat lunch together and often share our finds. Purple radishes! Curried lentils! The sweetest pea pods!

 

So Jen very kindly invited me and Pete and the girls over for Sunday brunch this weekend. (Which was, ftr, an absolute *blast.* I haven't had such a fun and relaxing Sunday in a long time!) I was meeting her partner Kim for the first time, so I felt the need to do something neat to impress her a little, which meant I needed to cook. I decided to bring over spiced pears and pomegranates, and a bowl of my famous black bean and asparagus salad with the cilantro dressing. WAY yummy stuff.

 

So last night, I head out to the grocery store. And with my head filled with dreams of the delicious food we will all be eating and enjoying tomorrow, I practically skipped through the produce aisles like a kid in a candy store. Round, lipstick colored, glossy bell peppers / capsicum. Fluffy bunches of coriander that smelled ethereal. Raspberries the size of my thumb. Silky smooth green d'anjou pears with their bright fruity taste and grainy brown bosc pears with their sweet crunch. I picured the fresh asparagus snapping into perfect pieces on the way to the steamer, heavy yellow onions releasing their sweet fragrant juice as my knife slid through them. I hefted the weight of the pomegranates and pictured my hands plunged into cool water in my big black stone bowl, breaking them apart and letting the tiny red jewels of fruit burst out and spill forth everywhere. Gorgeous stuff. I picked up a few other things we needed (milk, yogurt, bread, the basics) and headed to check out.

 

So there I was waiting to swipe my card, and a woman was bagging my goods up as I fantasized about cherry tomatoes, and suddenly she says (in a tone just dripping with condescension) "Well, you actually have quite a bit of produce in your order here. I guess you're trying to eat healthier!" The guy scanning the items snorted, and I just stood there with my card in my hand. It took me by surprise, and I had nothing. Which I really regretted later, because just standing there made me feel small and ashamed when I had ZERO reason to be.

 

What, so there is some kind of law that says fat people can't eat fruit and veggies? Because I *so* missed that memo, seeing how that is pretty much all I eat. I geuss I was too busy throwing back those 6 Big Macs this morning to hear it or something. What-the-fuck-EVER.

 

But I do feel annoyed that I had no comeback. I just stood here quietly and accepted it. So, dear readers, I'd like to hear your ideas on what would have been a better (and more fun!) response to this idiocy. Leslie, you know I am particularly talking to you! What does one say when confronted with silly ideas like this? WRONG ideas like this? Someone just trying to deflate your yummy cooking fantasies for no reason like this? I need some good comebacks!