Bi And Large

I think about writing here in the blog every day, but I can't quite manage to get it done. I have so many half formed posts rattling around inside my head, but the effort it would take to form them into something coherent and worth reading is just too much. It is almost summer. Almost. I am hanging on. I am struggling to keep my head above water, really struggling. And it is my own mind that's trying to drown me. Without enough down time during the week I go beyond the busy feel-good hypomania into overwhelmed, irritable, rage, hallucinations, anxious, and panicky. The mental symptoms give me physical symptoms too (like the chest pains of panick attacks, which are delightful I must say!) and the exhaustion of coping with non-stop adrenaline surge while not sleeping. It's so hard to put into words. I have anoher week ahead of me, and I just want to make it through without hurting my family or myself.

Once I've had some rest and can get myself back to a more stable place, I'll be writing more and putting up some of the posts I'm filing away in my head now. But as it is, there's just no way.