Bi And Large

I was just reading this excellent article in Newsweek about Jenny Sanford's brilliant public response to her husband, SC governor Mark Sanford's, bumbling and idiotic behavior re: his Argentine mistress. She has been put in a terrible situation, she has 4 children to protect, and she has been betrayed and publicly humiliated by her husband, the very person who promised to support and protect her. Still she comes out of it with her head held high, neither sounding vindictive nor like a doormat. She's just brilliant. I hope her sons turn out just like her.

Anyway I was thinking, we've had a hell of a lot with the public infidelity lately. There's Jon of 'Jon and Kate Plus 8' and his 20-something rendezvous at the bar. There's Elizabeth Edwards on Oprah talking about her new book, Resilience, that mainly deals with the fallout from her husband's very bad behavior with a video producer. (Seriously?) Hillary Clinton making her own career and life a rousing success after, well, Bill. There's Silda Spitzer, Eliot Spitzer's wife, who was not only betrayed and harmed by her husband but then trashed by the media for not divorcing him immediately, even though she had young children. And Suzanne Craig, Larry Craig's wife, standing by him through all the many, many men coming forward to admit they had done the nasty with him.

What's with all the cheating going on lately? I mean, I know, it always goes on, no surprise there. But doesn't it seem like a big rash of it lately? Especially the public ones? There's a lot of wives being dragged through this publically through no fault of their own and a lot of husbands who should know better - if not for their marriages at least for their careers - than to be running around with hookers and mistresses and having sex with strangers or at gay men's clubs or airport bathrooms. Where's the self control? Do these men just not have any character?

I realize that not everyone agrees with my definition, but I was raised to view marriage as a covenant, as in the religious context. You make a promise, and you keep it, come hell or high water. Your promise has nothing to do with the other person and how they act, your promise has nothing to do with whether or not you feel like it, you just DO IT. Because you said you would. And you are a decent person who respects your family, and has the strength of character to do so, and to model honorable behavior for your children. I am shocked that so few people out there seem to be into self respect.

ANYWAY as I am thinking through the reactions of the various wives in the public eye, and whose I am impressed by, and whose I am pained by. I am wondering - what would YOU do, how would YOU react, if your spouse broke your marriage covenant? There are a lot of readers to this blog, a last count about 100 pages loaded a day from all over the world, so I am hoping to get a decent variety of responses. If you found out your spouse had given themselves to someone else (or, God forbid, if you have already lived this nightmare; I am so sorry) please let me know how you would choose to react. Would you stay? Go? Take the high road or the low road? What would you say? Leave me a comment and let me know!